words by Williams

Monday May 15

We travel up to Saumur in the Loire valley. I was really looking forward to getting our Camping-Car Park passe d’etape which, through the miracle of modern science can be delivered before your very eyes from a smart console at the entrance to the campsite rather than being sent home to England.

“You are in front of the entrance of [garbled name]” said the disembodied voice. “Yes,” I replied. “Then your card should have appeared from the machine.” “No.” “Are you sure you are in front of the machine in Saint-Médard-de-Guizières?” “No, I am in front of the machine in Saumur.” “You need to be in Saint-Médard-de-Guizières.” “Is that close?” “No. It is a very long way away, near Bordeaux.” “I thought I’d booked here.” “No, you booked Saint-Médard-de-Guizières.” “Well, can I transfer the booking to here?” “No, it is too late for today.” “But I’m here, standing in front of the machine in Saumur, can’t I stay here?” “No.” [Silence] “Wait a minute, I will produce for you a card from the machine in Saumur.” [Miraculously, card pops out of the machine] “I have the card, but I can’t stay here?” “No.”

And she’s gone. Someone in Saint-Médard-de-Guizières has just been surprised by a card popping out of a machine for no apparent reason.

Now Cal wants to know what’s happened. “Why did you book that place?” “Because I thought it was here. When I looked up this place on the map thing, that’s what it said the name was.” Suddenly, I’m feeling quite old, quite confused and a long way from home with a pass-card for a camping site that won’t let me stay. And anyway it looks rough. Like a car park between a river and a stadium, which is what it is. Even the majestic Loire (for it is she) looks a bit low and shingly from here.

Good news is there’s a site 15 minutes up the road. Not so good news, it’s another Huttopia and we’re nowhere near Pentecost as far as I can tell.

The drive takes us down a well-heeled road between the warehouses of various wine producers and out into the countryside. Our Huttopia promises us a ‘different perspective’ of the Loire. And, for 30 quid a night, it actually delivers.

To be fair, this Huttopia is a much better version of itself. The young receptionist is again welcoming and helpful. She points out our options, including all the prices for the various types of pitch. We go electric with a view of the river. Cal’s so impressed she even does some impromptu gardening, cutting the tall grass at the edge of the pitch to ‘improve’ the view. It’s fab.

The crowd is cosmopolitan. We have a couple of German families close by, one in a classic VW Camper Van, which they somehow transform into a small palace, sharing the river view. Just up the way is a tall, jolly lady with a Rhodesian Ridgeback puppy. He’s big, bouncy and hyperactive. She’s in a camper van, too. Good luck with that.

Tuesday May 16

Busy doing nothing. Apart from a short ramble around the site and a walk down the lane, past an enormous vineyard, it’s a day to chill. We do.