words by Williams

So, how come when we're supposed to be heading to another Wood Leisure site, this time in rural Aberdeenshire, we're down by the docks in the Granite City? Answer: One big ding in the windscreen, caused by an apparent assassination attempt by something big and pingy on the A96 between Elgin and Keith.

And to be fair, a big pingy ding in an A-Class windscreen is not something to be sneezed at.

And here's me thinking the narrow 'one lane motorway', as great-nephew JJ would no doubt call it, between Foyers and Inverness was going to be the big trial of the day...

We spent the rest of the journey trying in vain to contact the RAC, Autoglass, National Windscreens who all want you to get in touch on their websites, before we finally found someone who would actually answer (within three rings as it happened) at Premier Windscreens in Aberdeen, on Mearns Street, down by the docks.

Having read that you can't do windscreen magic on chips 'bigger than a two pound coin', we downplayed the size of the bullseye in the screen that was 'no, really not' in the driver's eyeline. Bring it in, they said. We'll have a look.

I missed Mearns Street first time round, but emboldened by navigating city traffic, a quick three-point turn was no problem.

The guys there were great, but told us straight away they couldn't do magic on anything 'bigger than a one pound coin', but not to worry, it wasn't going to get any bigger and the windscreen very probably wouldn't crack violently edge-to-edge and shower us in glass without warning, before sending us on our way with a cheery wave.

So, it looks like we're due a new windscreen as soon as we can get one.